Tudung labuh. Is it just for ustazah?

Being call as “ustazah”, “budak baik”, “geng tudung labuh” and etc.

These what’s people call me nowadays. Deep inside, i was sad, frustrated, guilty. Why? Because people just labeled others by their appearances only.

Yes. 
I did wear tudung labuh. Not really tudung labuh actually. How should i describe it. I just wear square tudung with bidang 50.

But, since then, just because my tudung is a little bit big than others, people keep calling me ustazah and etc.

Being labeled as ustazah, geng tudung labuh, budak baik was quite akward for me the “budak jahat” type of person.

But. Since i decided to move on, to change into a better life, to start new life and hijrah, that’s what i faced. I knew. The moment i changed, my life wouldn’t be as sweet as before. I knew, this path will welcoming me with lots of hardship, with lost of sad, with lots of tears, with lots of tests. I’m well prepared for that.

I could still remember, one day when i went back to my kampung on hari raya celebration, i met my close friend that i havn’t meet for long. The first question she asked me “Hang ni p sana belajaq jadi doktor ka ustazah?” 
I was shocked. Speechless.

My aunt once told me “Pakai tudung besaq-besaq buat apa? Dah macam kain buruk aja meleret-leret.”
Someone i know, once told me “Pakai stokin dah macam orang lepas bersalin ja aku tengok. Hang ni pasai pa?”

One friend said to me, just after i started to change “Kau ni kenapa tetiba jadi baik hari ni?” One kind of “compliment” that came from someone that i won’t expect to be. His words made me flattered.

But, still, i have those that believe in me. Support me. And have faith in me. They even compliment me. They even brought tudung for me. They guide me.

This path, won’t be easy. Its full of tests. Hardship. Sometime, i do flattered. I do waver. I do want to give up. And even more, i had even think of going back to the old me.

To you. Those still struggling, please stay strong. 
To you. Those think of hijrah, do it today. 
To you. Those who had been a better Muslim, stay istiqamah. 
To you. Whatever you want to do, have faith in Allah.

If you ever waver. If you ever doubt Allah. If you ever feel lonely. If you ever think life is over. If you ever say you have no one. If you ever have empty heart. Always know, Allah is there. He watch over us. Always and forever. He is near. He never leave us. He had a better plan for us. And, He loves us more than any other human being do.

:)