gud yet worse..

i'm attending a first aid workshop this weekend..juz a day..
juz like want to go after my frenz decided to go...hoping that i might hav a gud experience and gain a new experience attending such a workshop..

actually, mmg xcited nk pegi..huhu..al maklum lah, aku nie susah nak attend xtvt di hujung minggu selagi x DIWAJIBKAN HADIR..haha..teruk kan aku nie... :D

then, aku juz pegi sbb ada kwn2 yg ajak aku pegi...so, juz go on ja...thanks a lot to all my frenz..

it should be a gud one if that things does not happen...a thing that make me think twice whether i should go or not..hmmmmmmm

nk sgt2 elakkan dr those stupid things to happen to me..again...tp ntah ar...ada org ckp, kebetulan but still i hate this kebetulan..it not a gud things that i hope to be happen...still, my day is going badly and i felt that it such a very long day to end up... :(

knp la aku ada satu kebetulan yg sgt2 menakutkan nie..tension aku...klu satu xpa g, aku bleh accept lagi..tp klu smpy dua2 ada, hmmmm....susah aku nk trima...rasa mcm bnda nie dirancang2 unt terjadi...


tlglah, jgn kacau hidup aku lg...pegi lah...napa nk wat cm nie lg...aku dh penat la...tlg tutup mulut anda, jgn sesuka hati nk bawa or jaja cerita yg anda x tahu..anda x alami semua nie, so anda mungkin xphm prasaan org lain...jd, sy ingatkan sekali lagi..tlg jgn kacau sy dan di harapkan anda dpt berdiam diri...FAHAM!! sy masih ada maruah dan harga dirir..tlg fahami perasaan kaum sejenis dgn anda ini...fikirkanlah, bagaimana jika anda berada di tempat sy...apakah perasaan anda klu sy melakukan perkara yg sama..adakah anda akan tersenyum atau bersedih atau menangis atau ketawa dgn riangnya....di harap kan anda yg berkenaan tlglah berdiam diri dan sila jgn mengeluarkan apa2 statement yg x sepatutnya...HARAP MAKLUM..


p/s: walaupun anda di atas tue x tahu menahu apa yg aku tulis nie, aku sentiasa berhrp yg dia akan fhm dan buat apa yg sepatutnya dia buat dan x buat apa yg x sepatutnya dia buat...

haru biru...

seandainya di berikan kau sesuatu yg kau inginkan..

pastinya kau akan benar2 bersyukur padaNya

atas kurniaanNya...

dan..

andainya..

yg kau inginkan itu

benar2 berada dlm genggamanmu..

dan pada saat kau benar2 merasakan apa yg kau miliki itu

selamat dlm genggaman kau..

pastinya kau berasa tidak perlunya bg kau untuk terus menjaganya

sehinggalah tibanya saat ia hilang dr pandanganmu..

entah kenapa..

kita..

manusia

terlalu selesa dgn apa yg kita miliki..

lantas memandang remeh akan setiap yg kita miliki..

tanpa terus bertahan menjaganya dgn sepenuh hati..

lantas..

tiba saatnya...

ia hilang dr genggamanmu...

dan..

disaat itu..

kau akan menyedari bahawa ia adalah sesuatu yg terbaik pnh kau miliki...

namun,

tak pernah kau hargai...

saat ini...

sedarlah..

bahawa apa yg kita miliki x kan terus kita miliki..

andai kita tidak pnh berusaha menjaganya...

p/s: bagaimana aku bleh terlalu leka dgn apa yg aku miliki sehinggakan kejayaan lari meninggalkan aku...

hikmah disebalik musibah

di sebalik setiap apa yg berlaku, pasti ada hikmahnya...
apa yg ALLAH jdkan, telah ditetapkanNya aturan yg amat teliti...
diberiNya kita dgn sesuatu yg baik unt kita bersyukur dan diambilNya sesuatu yg kita syg untuk kita merenungi kembali khilafnya kita dlm mengatur arah hidup kita di bumiNya ini...
walau apa yg terjd, ingatlah jnji ALLAH..Dia tidak akan mengambil sesuatu yg kita syg kecuali dgn menggantikannya dgn sesuatu yg lbh baik...

mgkn, pada pandangan mata kita, sesuatu yg dikembalikan oleh ALLAH kpdNya itu lbh baik tp hnya ALLAH yg lbh mengetahui apa yg terbaik disisi kita hambaNya...

maka, di setiap apa yg berlaku..kembalilah padaNya...

insyaALLAH...hidupmu pasti tenang dan lbh bahagia...

layar

siapa aku..
di sisi mu...
x sempurna pd pandanganmu..
ingin ku bawa kau kembali pdnya..
namun,
kau lebih hebat dlm berbicara
kau lebih gah menentu arahmu..
angin hidupmu..
layar hidupmu..
kau tentukan ke mana arahnya perjalanan kau...
x perlukan aku sebagai penunjuk arah..
walau layar mu tersalah arah..
walau kau tersesat di lautan..
namun,
kau tetap gah dgn tutur mu..
"aku x perlukan kau...
layarku lbh gah dpd kau..
kau pergi..
dan tentukan di mana arah layarmu sndri..
kerna..
layarmu sndri masih tercari2 timur hidupmu.."
ya..
aku sedar..
layarku masih hilang arah..
masih mencari timurku...
namun,
aku ingin kau bersama2ku..
mencari timur yg ingin kita tuju...

tonite

mood:undefined...

currently feel like missing sumthing but dont know what it is...

juz want to sleep+rest all d day..tired..

.....

jgn pinta aku untuk menjadi org lain kerna itu pastinya bukan diriku...

softball

huhu..napa sy malas?
napa sy susah nk fokus bila wat sumthing?
napa sy mudah distracted by others thing yg happen around me?
napa sy susah nk coordinated dgn apa yg sy nmpk dan patut sy buat?
ermm...

semlm main softball...
byk kali pukul bola, tp miss ja smua..then, coach tue ckp
coach: brapa power mata awk?tebal ke spek awk?
aku:??
coach: awk nmpk x bola tue?sbb bila dekat awk bleh pukul bola tue..tp bila jauh, miss ja..
(act, bila smua bola miss, coach pnggil aku g dekat dia..then suh aku pukul bola dr jarak dekat..smua ok..then bila kt jarak yg sebnr..smua miss ja..)
aku: nmpk...
coach: erm..awk nmpk kan bola tue..
aku:hmm...
coach: awk nmpk bola tp mata awk xleh nk coordinated dgn otak awk..sbb tue awk miss ja bola tue..xpa2...awk try practice ngn kwn awk kt tepi ye..
aku: ok..

tp, aku still confius ngn 1 thing...aku rasa lately, aku susah nk fokus or stay awake 4 a longer time..
what juz happen to me...

hmmm...

it is tru that my brain couldnt really coordinated with my physical?

~tired~

juz feel too tired...i dont know what d reason behind all these tiredness...it juz i'm fell really tired...

what juz happen to me...since this few days, i feel tired even walking upstair to my room..

jln ke klas pun rasa cm jauh sgt2..sbb bru half way, dh jd letih sgt2...bdn pun jd lesu semcm ja...asyik nk tido ja..asal ada masa free, tido ja kejanya...then, klu dpt tido tue dh x nk bgn2 dh...

knp erk?

confius gak dgn perubahan diri aku yg amat2 drastik nie...

pening kpala pun slalu gak..stat dpd aku hampir2 pitam ri tue, smpy ri nie slalu ja pening...

xkan stress kot..

hmmmmm....

kau aku

dont let me feel down...huhuhu..

y cant u juz understand me...

knp kau x pnh fikirkan pasal org lain?knp hny perasaan kau yg harus jaga sedangkan kau x pnh hiraukan perasaan aku?

susah sgt ke?

berubah la sket..

xkan jatuh harga diri kau klu kau rendahkan sikit ego kau tue...

aku ckp bukan sbb aku, tp unt diri kau juga..

aku takut, kau akan hilang smuanya disbbkan ego kau tue..

aku syg kau, sbb tue aku nk kau berubah..

supaya kau x hilang org2 yg kau syg disbbkan ego kau yg tinggi sgt tue...

berubah la...skit pun xpa..

aku tau kau boleh.. ^_^

aidil, shat2 slalu ye...

rabu
6okt2010
2nd
hari tue gak aku dpt tau yg aidil dh kluar dr hosp...time aku kol mak ptg tue..
alhamdulillah... :)
xdak apa2..juz mak ckp yg aidil cm letih ja...kesan ubat kot...
aku ingat g..dlu, time dia kena operate, time dia umur 3 hari tue..dia cm tue gak..kak tie ckp yg dia asyik tido ja pas operation..kesan anesthetic drug..
then, masa dia operate sekali lg time dia 9 bulan pun sama gak..tp time tue aku kat UiTM dh la..time tue baru masuk U..(act, aidil kena operate sbb usus dia bocor..kesilapan dooc yg treat dia kat hosp kulim...time nk insect tube unt lung infection yg dh infect dia..time tue H1N1 tgh hebat...dibedah di hosp sultanah bahiyah, alor star..emergency operation need to be done)
tp mak ckp yg aidil dh kurus sket la nie...sbb demam ri tue dia x nak mkn..nie pun xmau mkn g..tp ok sket dr ri tue...xmau main2 g sbb asyik nk tido ja...
xpa la aidil..rest la ye..cian kt aidil...
hmmmm....dia nya date ngn doc kena postpone p bulan dpn...
still under doc...
mujur la demam tue bukan sbb ada complication ke apa...lega sgt2...
ermm...ok la...doakan aidil sembuh dan trus shat.. :)

great day..

walaupun lambat, aku nk ckp gak...hehe...

1st
6okt2010
bermakna genaplah umur aku 21tahun... :D
insyaALLAH..dgn bertambahnya usiaku, moga bertambahlah amalan dan iman aku..amin.. :)
segalanya bermula dpd mlm kejadian...
keletihan dan kepenatan aku buatkan aku get ready nk tido awl mlm tue..
huhu..tp tetiba ja far mai bilik aku..ciap offer air teh ais g..that when, kepelikan berlaku..tp wat bodo ja la aku pun...
1. far mai bilik(x pelik sgt sbb far mmg slalu mai bilik aku..)
2.far offer air teh ais..(besa la tue..cm x pnh far wat cm tue lak...haha)
3.tetiba ja dila join d club, duduk lepak kt tempat aku smbil borak2 ngn far+aku...huhu..bukan senang tue..dila ngn aku slalu lepak dpn lappy masing2 ja... :D
4.far mai bilik aku, borak cm x mau balik2 dh..(sbb slalunya far mai sat2 ja..klu da bnda pntg nk wat, then dia balik..naruto dia sedia menanti di bilik...haha..far, jgn marah ek..)
5.huaaaaaaaa...aku dh ngntuk nie...nk tido...
hehehe...then, kul 12, pas dpt 1st msj besday wish...huhuhu...that d excited part stated...hahaha....effa masuk bersama2 ain+pija...juz to wish my 21st besday...hahaha...
terharunya, xpnh2 org wat cm nie kt aku..huhu..nk ngs la, bleh x? ;)
ciap nyanyi2 g...huhu...best2..haha(ngada tul aku nie...)
pndy tul far ngn dila berkomplot unt make sure kan aku stay awake smpy tgh mlm...

wah...that sooooo cute... :D
really luv it...really appreciate it...it how much they work to get it+sum of them, huhu, buatkan aku kecik ati a few days b4...tp pa pun, tQ kwn2... :)

what a sweet couple...hahaha :D
finally, got d partner of my DD..TT is going to be a part of my life now...

so overall, this is what I got that day...huhu...still having a little more..but, its ok.. :)

then, that day..I got the best present 4 my besday...a hosp visit to hosp sg buloh..what a sweet memory..act, i'm a little bit nervous b4..hav a thought of it 4 the whole week b4..
but it juz fine...
xbyk bnda yg buat pun ari tue..
juz menikmati pemandangan di hosp tue ja...sgt2 cantik..(unfortunetely, i didnt have any pic of that visit...i'll get it in the next visit..)
sgt2 best...
1st history taking with d patient, even with 6 people 4 1 patient, it was a little bit uncomfortable 4 me...juz try my best next time... :D
BP measurement, was the fantastic 4 me...special thanks to Ayu 4 patiently teach me how to do d BP measurement...really excited to heard d sound....
really nice thing rite.. :)
then...
juz get myself on d bed after d hosp visit...said lalalalalaaaa

p/s:it was a great day after all...thanks a lot all my frenz..thanks 4 d wishes, adiah, gula2, coklat and etc....luv all of u.. ^_^

ujian ALLAH unt hambaNya

wuahahaaaaa......

dh lama x update blog...byk citer yg aku nk citer...haha..
kebzkan aku dgn keja+life as a medical student buatkan aku tercari2 masa unt buat apa yg aku nak..(ye ke?nmpk cm free sgt2 ja..hahaha)

1st
isnin, 4okt2010...
stated my day when sumthing not really gud...juz in d morning, i fell myself not feeling well...but, i decide to go to the class as i got 2 lecture in d morning+cal phpm class...
1st lecture was an importang 1..pharmacology by my papa, doc igor..haha..that papa was refer to my mentor...
2nd, microbe's lecture by assoc prof doc ariza,such a beauty, stylish, elegan doc...
then..juz stated d lecture, i fell dizzy, nausea..then sleepy...i thing it might be cause by d sleepiness that recently increased too much...having my free time with sleep...
then..after d lecture, juz go to the surau..so that i could rest..(niat dh salah tue, patutnya wat solat dhuha...)
and, at d surau, i could not standing rite...it really hurt me...Ya Allah, tlgkanlah kurangkan kesakitan nie...
after d phpm klas, decided to go back to kolej by myself..but..thinks that having my frenz along with me would be fine as if anything happen, there is sum1 with me...that when d sad story stat...
my frenz juz left me behind...(not her fault maybe..it juz me walking too slow...)
d journey to go back to kolej was a long journey 4 me on that day...juz imagine how could i still walk back with my eyes closed..
it too scary rite..but, i know that ALLAH adlh sebaik2 penjaga bg kita....:)
even i couldn't stay upward, i could force myself at least to walk until d kolej...coz, if anythong happen, it kolej..so, there sum1 there...
huhuhu....
then, how could i get into my room if my rumate was there and locked up d door and sleep..i stated to cry...i couldnt walk,stand up..and, there nobody here...
that when ALLAH sent sum1 to help me..absah, my ketua blok...she did help me to ain's room as i couldnt walk by myself now...tQ absah..(maybe nie yg dinamakan "buat baik dibalas baik")
huhuhu...and i juz get into my room after ain kejutkan dila yg tgh tido...and after that..i got into my room...juz nmpk katil and sleep...wauuuuuuu....
it feel really guuuuuuuuuuuuddd :D

2nd
isnin 4okt2010
ptg tue..aku dpt kol dr abg aku...
abg mie:depa x hbq pa2 ka kt hg?
aku:hah..hbq pa?sapa?
abg mie:aidil masuk hosp...kak tie x hbq ka?
aku:hah(terkejut sgt2)x hbq pa2 pun
abg mie:laaa...
aku:bila?
abg mie:kelmarin..ptg...aidil demam..
aku:smpy ati...kelmarin masuk hosp bru ri nie nk hbq...
abg mie:laaa...mana tau...xpa la..t hg tepon mak lain la, tny mak...mak p hosp dh tue...
aku:(smpy ati..patut la asyik tingat kt dia ja 2 3 hari nie..huhuhu)
cdey...

homesick...

rindu rumah....nak balik rumah...huhuhu

tetiba ja hari nie aku rasa cdey sgt2...xtau napa...nk sgt balik umah...homesick sgt2 nie...:((

hMmmmm...
ini satu kepelikan bg diri aku..seblm nie, homesick cm mana pun, x pnh rasa cdey sgt2 cm nie..knp nie...

antara sbb napa aku slalu homesick..rindu both of them, the cutest nephew..

muhammad faris iskandar yg semakin tembam...bila aku blk cuti ja, msti faris makin tembam..napa erk.. ^_^

muhammad aidil ikwan...sgt2 buas skang nie..penat maksu dia nk lyn dia..maklum la, org bru dpt kaki..huhu...ptg2 ja msti cari aku, k ajak bwak dia kluar jln2.. :)miss u so much..muahhh


nie anak buah aku yg lain...they are really gud in self photography...credit to mohd fazrul idham, nur nathasha nabiha, nur fatin izwanie nur aireen erisha...:D aku pun xtau cm na nk gna camera laptop nie unt amik gmbr sbb bru beli laptop..tp depa lg terer..terkejut bila tgk gmbr2 nie ada dlm laptop...thumb ups to all of u.. :))

how could i live without these people??

ayah, ismail bin ahmad...a person that i did denied his presence a long time ago..:(( how could i do that??

mak, zainab binti din...i hav a gud reason to live on with her by my side :D